Contesting an Adoption

It’s important to be sure of your decision before signing legal consent papers because it’s very hard to stop an adoption once your parental rights are gone. However, if you feel you were pressured, threatened, or lied to, or if the agency, PAPs, social workers, or lawyers did something illegal or wrong, you can file a petition in court to stop the adoption before it’s finalized. 

If your child is eligible for citizenship in a Native American tribe, but the procedure required by the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) was not followed correctly, the adoption can also be contested. These processes can take years and are very hard for birth parents to win. For support with contesting an adoption of a Native or Indigenous child, contact the National Indian Child Welfare Association (NICWA).

You will need to contact a lawyer to assist you in filing a petition with the court to contest an adoption. For free legal information, contact the If/When/How Repro Legal Helpline at 844-868-2812.

You have the right to: 

• make a decision free from pressure, coercion, guilt, shame, or false information.
• have any and all documents written and explained in a way you’re able to understand.
• counseling that clearly informs you of the finality of your decision as well as all possible alternatives. 
• wait to sign relinquishment papers until you’re ready, recovered from birth, and are no longer under the influence of medicine.
• hold, bond with, and feed your baby before making any decisions.
• take your baby home, temporarily or permanently (unless the family regulation system in your state, also known as “child protective services,” won’t allow it).
• name your baby (though the adoptive parents may change their name).
• get support for any postpartum depression you may have.
• change your mind and decide to parent your baby (before signing consent papers). 
• change your mind and choose kinship adoption or legal guardianship (before signing consent paper). 
• revoke your consent to the adoption within the legal revocation period for your state, if there is one.

Learn more about expectant and first/birth parent rights.

Signs of a problem

Some birth parents are pressured, lied to, or threatened into signing legal adoption papers by adoption agency representatives, adoption lawyers, social workers, their own families, or the prospective adoptive parents (PAPs). Some unethical tactics to look out for include: 

• Telling you that you’ll have to repay the prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) and/or the adoption agency for expenses they’ve covered.
• Rushing you into signing papers or being told that you’re required to sign the papers within a certain time frame.
• Referring to you as a “birth mom” before you relinquish your parental rights. 
• Telling you that you’ll hurt the PAPs if you change your mind.
• Saying that you’re selfish and not doing what’s best for your child if you’re unsure or thinking about changing your mind.
• PAPs, social workers, lawyers, or agency representatives being at the hospital and/or in your hospital room during labor and delivery against your wishes.
• Threatening to report you to the family regulation system, also known as “child protective services,” or law enforcement if you change your mind. Know that in order to make a report, they must have reason to believe that you’re a danger to your child. 
• Pressuring you not to name the other parent on the birth certificate so the adoption can move faster. 

Read about other types of adoption coercion.

Ways to advocate for yourself

• Make a birth plan and include any wishes you have for time and space to be with your baby, be in a clear state of mind, and make the best decision you can. 
• Have someone with you at the hospital whose only job it is to advocate for you. This could be a doula, friend, or family member. Ideally this person is not an adoption professional or anyone who has a personal or financial investment in you placing your child for adoption. 
• Get clarity about the timeframe during which you can sign the legal adoption papers, and understand what will happen if you’re not ready to sign.
• Ask any questions you have about legal documents. If you don’t understand something, you have the right to ask for plain language you can understand, or to ask for a lawyer to explain it to you.

Make an aftercare plan. Giving birth and relinquishing a child for adoption is an experience that can come with many difficult thoughts, feelings, and needs. You’ll need support to navigate this experience in a way that’s healthy for you and your child. All-Options is a good place to start.